Category Archives: Humor
KM9G Reports On New Phonetic Alphabet
Amateur radio has a long tradition of innovation concerning technology and radio operating practices. This includes innovating with the use of phonetic (or fonetic) alphabets, as previously reported here: Twisted Phonetic Alphabet
Today, April 1st, Steve/KM9G reports on the latest set of fonetics from the AFRL:
What Cows Think About 146.52 MHz
I see a lot of cows standing around in Colorado ranch land, and I often wonder what they are thinking. As a result, I’ve been experimenting with a series of graphics that show cows standing out in the field thinking great thoughts. Surprisingly, they are often thinking about ham radio topics. Who knew? I’ve posted these on Twitter (@K0NR) which usually generates some responses.
Recently, the cows were thinking about the 2m FM calling frequency.
Some of my international followers pointed out the 2m FM calling frequency is not 146.52 MHz in their country. Sometimes it is difficult to localize VHF content, so sorry about that.
EA3IEK commented that the calling frequency should also be the listening frequency. (This is the crux of the problem with calling frequencies on 2m FM…what is the best ratio of calling and listening?) So I quickly modified the photo.
Then I could not resist posting this one, inspired by Joey on the Friends television show. Moo. It’s just a cow’s opinion.
73 Bob K0NR
Innovation in Vehicle Labeling
Twitter is such a wonderful source of knowledge and a great place to pick up amateur radio operating tips. I saw this post from Johnny/W5KV, talking about getting a 146.52 sticker for his truck. (146.52 MHz is the 2m National Simplex Calling Frequency.) I’ve written about these stickers here: Get Your Mobile Frequency Sticker On
These oval stickers originated in Europe, to indicate the country where a vehicle is registered. In general, these oval stickers have become popular for indicating all kinds of things, including country, state, airport code, national park, etc. One of the most common stickers you’ll see has “26.2” on it to indicate the distance in miles of a marathon run. In other words, it means “I ran a freaking marathon” or maybe “I want you to think I ran a freaking marathon.” You’ll also see “13.1” to indicate the completion of a half marathon. Hence, W5KV’s comment about 6 full marathons. You will see other numbers used on these stickers, such as “5.56” for you firearms enthusiasts.
So I posted this photo of the back of my truck. My 146.52 is actually a magnetic sign, not a stick-on label but the intent is the same.
But of course, radio amateurs are always innovating to find new ways of doing things. Michael/K2MTS posted this photo of his vehicle with a dust-enabled 146.520 indicator on it.
Like many brilliant innovations, I immediately realized the advantages of using vehicle dust to indicate operating frequency:
- No cost to implement
- Flexibility: the frequency can be easily modified
- Text messages can be appended, such as “CQ CQ” or “Call Me”
One disadvantage is that it requires your vehicle to be dirty but that seems like a minor obstacle, easily overcome by a short drive down a dirt road.
73 Bob K0NR
Handheld Transceiver Accumulation Syndrome
A Handheld Transceiver (HT) is a convenient, compact all-in-one wireless device for FM operating on the VHF/UHF bands. HTs are sometimes referred to as a Shack On The Belt. There’s a lot to like about a transceiver that has wide frequency range, built-in antenna and power source.
The attractiveness of these devices coupled with a distinct lack of self-control on the part of some radio amateurs can lead to a condition known as Handheld Transceiver Accumulation Syndrome (HTAS). The main indicator of HTAS is that the radio amateur (the HTAS patient) accumulates a large number of HTs for no apparent reason. These radios end up sitting on the shelf or workbench at home, largely underutilized.
Coincident with the accumulation of radios, there is usually a pile of battery chargers, both drop-in and wall-wart style. These chargers are almost always proprietary designs that work with the original radio but no others.
The chargers are just the beginning of a broader accessory quagmire. The HTAS sufferer also tends to accumulate other accessories such as DC power cables, extra battery packs, speaker/microphones and aftermarket antennas. Many of these are also unique to the specific model of HT.
Psychologists that study HTAS note that there are specific buying habits that play into this harmful condition:
The Impulse Buy
HTs have always been relatively affordable with street prices of less than $200. However, the situation changed in the last decade with the introduction of cheap HTs from the Chinese manufacturers, driving the entry price down to around $30. This puts a VHF/UHF radio in the price range of a tank of gas or dinner at a local restaurant, clearly setting up an HT as an impulse buy. “Heck, its only $30, so why not buy the camo version of the Baofeng radio?”
The Mode Buy
Sometimes the HTAS patient is motivated to buy another HT to fill in a specific capability that is missing in their ham radio gear. Of course, the equipment manufacturers are complicit in this — introducing new features and modulation types to drive additional purchases. No single radio does it all, so you need multiple devices to cover a range of features, such as APRS, DMR, D-STAR and Fusion. “I need this new HT to work the other guys on DMR.”
The Special Purpose Buy
A really subtle driver of purchasing behavior is buying a radio for a specific purpose. This is similar to the Mode Buy but is driven by a specific situation. The patient conjures up specific communication needs that justify a particular radio. For example, they may think “I need a small HT that fits in my shirt pocket while doing work around the house.” Or “I need a little DMR radio just to talk to my hotspot.” Another one is “I need to keep a Baofeng in the glove compartment of the car, just in case.”
Living with HTAS
Fortunately, medical professionals that encounter HTAS report that in most cases the syndrome is not completely debilitating. Many radio amateurs are able to lead normal lives while suffering from the effects of HTAS. In severe cases, HTAS can lead to financial problems, depending on income level and the severity of the problem. HTAS is also associated with a breakdown in personal relationships, especially with married subjects. HTAS sufferers living alone report far fewer relationship problems.
If you know someone suffering from HTAS, encourage them to seek professional help. Treatment options may include psychotherapy and medication.
73 Bob K0NR
Radio Club Petitions FCC To Fix Call Area Confusion
In its petition, the Sundance Mountain Radio Association asserts that there is unnecessary and harmful confusion caused to daily amateur radio operation because the radio callsign is not a reliable indicator of station location. “It is common to work a W9 station and find out the guy actually moved to Florida years ago,” said Leroy Walker (KVØCO), President of the Sundance Mountain Radio Association (Palmer Lake, CO). “This wastes precious time when I am trying to work a particular state or area of the country. The other day, a KL7 station came booming in on 160m and I thought I had a new DXCC entity. Turns out, he was in Nebraska.”License Modification
Filed as #satire #humor #fakenews
The Three Laws of Electronic Measurement
On Saturday, I had the privilege of talking to a group of radio amateurs on the topic of electronic measurements. I opened the session with a short discussion of “why do we even need electronic measurements?” This was captured in three “laws” listed below:
Bob’s First Law of Electronic Measurement
With electricity, most of the time we cannot observe what is going on without measuring instruments.
Bob’s Second Law of Electronic Measurement
When we can observe electricity directly, it is often a bad thing.
Bob’s Third Law of Electronic Measurement
Lord Kelvin was right
Things On The Air (TOTA) Launched
The Sundance Mountain Radio Association (Palmer Lake, CO) today announced the creation of the Things On The Air (TOTA) program. The radio association’s Need More Lists Committee spent the past year analyzing the effect of various “on the air” programs, including the Islands On The Air (IOTA), National Parks On The Air (NPOTA) and Summits On The Air (SOTA).
The overall trend is clear. The ham radio community used to be satisfied with the basic DXCC list (a list of countries that aren’t really countries so we have to call them entities). But over time, additional lists to be worked have been created. For example, the Islands On The Air was created in 1964. More recently, the Summits On The Air program was established in 2002. It seems that every year or so we hear of another “something” on the air program. Even the normally docile satellite grid chasers created a Walmart Parking Lots On The Air (WMPLOTA) event.
Unfortunately, this has created a miss-mash of programs with inconsistent and conflicting rules. The Need More Lists Committee concluded that the best solution to this problem is to fast-forward to the likely end state: pretty much everything can be put on the air. Inspired by the latest technology hype, the Internet Of Things (IoT), the committee named this program Things On The Air (TOTA).
To be comprehensive and inclusive, the TOTA program is based on the existing Maidenhead Grid system. There are 324 fields defined (AA through RR), each having 100 squares (although they really are not square). Each square contains 576 subsquares indicated by aa through xx. So using the six-character locator results in 324 x 100 x 576 = 18,662,400 unique locators. Or, as the Committee likes to say, about 18 million locators. In North America, the six-character locator represents a rectangle about 3 miles by 4 miles. This raises the question of how many things need to be on the list inside a typical 3 x 4 mile rectangle. An in-depth study (actually just Leroy randomly selecting objects) revealed there are a lot of things that might need to be listed in even a small area.
For TOTA to achieve the vision of being the “last list of things on the air”, it must accommodate an unlimited number of listed things. To start out, a 15-digit serial number is appended to the 6-character locator to indicate a TOTA thing. As the program grows and new Things are added to the list, the 15-digit number can be extended indefinitely.
Here’s an example listing of some of the first TOTA designators:
Locator Serial Number Description DM79nb 000000000000001 Walmart Parking Lot DM79nb 000000000000002 Home Depot Parking Lot DM79nc 000000000000001 Leroy's home QTH DM79nc 000000000000002 Leroy's barn DM79nc 000000000000003 The big tree behind Leroy's house DM79db 000000000000001 Charlie's home QTH DM78lu 000000000000001 Pikes Peak Summit DN70di 000000000000001 Rocky Mountain National Park EN71jb 000000000000001 US Home of ZF2PF EM48ox 000000000000001 WZ0W Tiki Bar
When making a valid TOTA contact, the activating station must give a signal report and the TOTA designator: 6-character locator followed by the serial number (at least 15 digits but may be longer). The official TOTA list is currently maintained on an Excel spreadsheet on Leroy’s computer but a HDFS database is under construction to handle the expected large dataset.
The Committee requests the help of all amateur around the world to submit additional entries into the TOTA list. Eventually, this process will be automated via the ThingsOnTheAir.com web site but for now submissions can be made in the comments field below.
SOTANA May Be Right For You
I have “a friend” that could probably use this.
You’ve Got Questions, We’ve Got Answers
K3NG has performed an important public service by tabulating the answers to the top ten amateur radio questions swirling about the interwebz. This will save thousands of hours for hams searching for this critical information.
Unfortunately, K3NG did not include the questions, so you will have to use your imagination. But it’s not difficult.
73, Bob K0NR
This Spewed Out of the Internet #31
This is another update on important stuff spewing forth from the interwebz. It has been a while since I’ve done this, so we’ve got some catching up to do.
The KØNR Radio Site has expanded to Facebook. “Like” us there.
Check out the statewide email list available to Colorado radio amateurs. Join us there to stay informed about regional events.
Grid locators are important for VHF/UHF operating. I came across this web site that does a good job of mapping the grids. Over at HamRadioSchool.com, I wrote a Shack Talk article that explains Simplex, Duplex, Offset and Split. Also, Stu WØSTU posted a very helpful article explaining NVIS (Near Vertical Incidence Skywave) Antennas.
In June, Keysight Technologies donated some professional measurement software to the ARRL. Yeah, I had something to do with that.
From the Cheaters Gonna Cheat Department:
- CQ Magazine busts UT5UGR for padding his log in CQ WW contest
- The FCC fines David J. Tolassi, W4BHV, for failing to identify properly
- The FCC also went after Michael Guernsey, KZ8O, with a $22,000 fine. Ouch.
- The FCC also fined Daniel R. Hicks, KB8UYZ, for malicious interference to VHF repeaters.
The Ham Hijinks crew continues to contribute some outstanding literary works stuff to the ham radio community. Recently, they’ve latched onto the theme of hams using cheap radios to not make any contacts on VHF:
- Club Votes: Bob Should Buy New Radio
- No One, Anywhere, Having Good VHF QSOs
- Optimistic 6m DXer Ready for Opening of the Year
- New Ham Unsure If He Really Needs to Stand When Told To Stand By
Dodge uses Morse Code in one of their car commercials. Speaking of cars, check out Wired’s article: Hackers Remotely Kill a Jeep on the Highway.
Steve WGØAT created another great goat-enabled SOTA video, this one with Clay NF1R on Mount Herman.
I heard this song by Phil Collins on a the radio recently and I’m convinced it’s about the heartbreak of trying to work a rare DXpedition. Give a listen.
And then there’s this…a very well done video about ham radio that has lots of people talking.
Well, that’s all for now.
73, Bob K0NR
This Spewed Out of the Internet #30
Reporting on more critical information spewing forth from the interwebz, here’s some stuff you just can’t live without.
In a surprise move, Baofeng introduces yet another dualband HT, but this one might be the best yet. Maybe. See the PD0AC first impressions of the GT-3 Mark II.
Yaesu has announced a new dualband HT, the FT2DR, that has a Big Honking Display and touchscreen interface.
The crack reporting team over at Ham Hijinks keeps cranking out ham radio news: Turkey Takes Toll on Ham.
The ARRL is looking into changing some of the VHF contest rules. The first proposal includes allowing self-spotting and the use of non-amateur assistance. I say “heck yeah!”
If you ever thought it would be a good idea to use a banana as a Morse code keyer, check out this video. Meanwhile, Burger King has recognized the importance of ham radio for space communications (video).
The QRZNow web site got caught “borrowing” content from other ham radio web sites without permission or providing attribution.
Stu W0STU over at HamRadioSchool.com has been straining his brain on the topic of complex impedance. If you need some help understanding this (ahem) complex topic, take a look at his three part article on the subject: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.
If you are worried about exposure to excessive EMF (Electromagnetic Field), you’ll want to consider this device over at Amazon.com. Be sure to read the reviews to get the full entertainment value.
73, Bob K0NR
Twisted Phonetic Alphabet
Stu W0STU just posted an article on HamRadioSchool.com about the use of phonetic alphabets. I had previously posted a Shack Talk article on the same subject.
The “standard” phonetic alphabet is the ITU alphabet but I am starting to think that we might need to get a little more creative on our use of phonetics. Why not innovate in this area, just like we innovate on the technical front?
Towards that end, I was reminded of his phonetic alphabet listed over at netfunny.com:
A Are N Nine B Bee O Owe C Cite P Pseudonym D Double-U Q Queue E Eye R Rap F Five S Sea G Genre T Tsunami H Hoe U Understand? I I V Vie J Junta W Why K Knot X Xylophone L Lye Y You M Me Z Zero
Even this creative alphabet can be improved on. For example, I think H should be Honor.
What do you think?
73, Bob
Lost Island DX Society Mysteriously Reappears
As reported here in this blog, the Lost Island DX Society has been missing in action for over a year. Various rumors propagated around the internet and amateur radio community concerning what happened to these LIDS. Recently, the Fi-Ni Report came to life and reported that the LIDS are actively planning (or at least discussing) working the CQ Worldwide DX Contest. Of course, this is the SSB version of the contest.
No explanation has been given for the year long absence of the LIDS and the Fi-Ni Report.
73, Bob K0NR
Lost Island DX Society Still Lost
We are rapidly approaching the first anniversary of the strange disappearance of the Lost Island DX Society (LIDS) as first reported on this blog. The LIDS were last heard from via the Fi-Ni Report on September 18, 2012, reporting on the Talk Like A Pirate Contest.
Most people have given up the search for the LIDS, given the extended period of time they have been missing. One consistent rumor circulating in the DX community is that the LIDS were trying to join the Amsterdam Island DXpedition (FT5ZM) for a January 2014 activation of that island. Unfortunately, the LIDS did not realize that the island is in the middle of the Indian Ocean and not in Amsterdam. As the story goes, they had already bought nonrefundable airline tickets to Europe before they found this out. It seems that they may try to recover with a Summits On The Air (SOTA) activation, if they can find a hill high enough within walking distance of their Amsterdam hotel.
Fearing that the LIDS are simply lost somewhere in Europe, a group of hams is petitioning the White House to launch a surveillance drone to find them. As one ham said, “They’ve got them dang drones flying around spying on everyone, they might as well do some good.”
I agree completely. If nothing else, Do It For The Children.
73, Bob K0NR
GNT Shirts Now Available
The Committee to Preserve Golf November Tango is pleased to announce the availability of the new GNT Polo Shirt. The origins of the GNT frequency traces back to the incident when three ham radio operators found themselves stranded on the shore of Lake Michigan, calling out in desperation for Gin and Tonic. You may recall the unfortunate circumstances that caused confusion about the correct Golf November Tango calling frequency.
Fortunately, this has all been cleared up and The Committee has authorized the sale of the Golf November Tango shirt, with the official GNT frequency embroidered on it. (It seems that the group is really bad at documenting things, so they figured that if they all had a shirt with the frequency written on it, it could only help. See the logo shown to the left.)
These awesome polo shirts are available online in both mens and womens sizes at the Ham Radio Techwear store. The committee apologizes that these shirts are a little late for Christmas presents, but there is always next year.
Remember, when all else fails, make a call on the GNT Frequency.
73, Bob K0NR
Lost Island DX Society Assumed to Be Lost
The rumors have been circulating for some time now, that something terrible has happened to the Lost Island DX Society (LIDS). The Fi-Ni report was last heard from on Sept 18th of last year, reporting on the 3rd Annual Talk Like a Pirate Contest. Previous to that, their comprehensive Field Day report was a bit confused, openly questioning whether Field Day is actually a contest. This has fueled speculation that the LIDS are suffering from some type of psychological breakdown. Others have suggested that this group is perpetually confused and no inference can be drawn from strange behavior.
A reliable source has reported that the LIDS team was actively working on a DXpedition to New Mexico. These plans were alledgedly scrapped after a well-known Big Gun DXer told them that New Mexico is actually part of the United States and is not a separate DXCC entity. This same source has suggested that the LIDS have gone into hiding and plan to resurface just in time for a surprise multi-multi-multi-25-radio entry in the 2013 Poisson d’Avril Contest. However, most radio hams close to the LIDS believe that the team got lost on the way to New Mexico and died of heat exhaustion in the Chihuahuan Desert.
Anyone that has any information on the status of LIDS or that might have heard them on the ham bands, is encouraged to contact this blog as soon as possible. We all hope and pray for their quick, safe return.
73, Bob K0NR
Proper Kerchunking
Recently, on one of the email reflectors associated with repeater owners, someone asked how to deal with kerchunkers on the repeater. The term kerchunk means to key up the repeater to see if it is there. It just takes a quick push of the Push-to-Talk (PTT) button on the transceiver to bring up most repeaters, resulting in a kerchunk sound.
It seems that this repeater owner had someone that was kerchunking his repeater on a regular basis and it was making him looney. This led to the usual discussion of whether kerchunking is acceptable, legal or moral and whether it should or should not be considered a capital offense.
Clearly, some radio amateurs have not been schooled in the proper way to kerchunk a repeater. The proper method for kerchunking is to key the transmitter and say your callsign, followed by the word “kerchunking”. This simultaneously identifies your station and indicates the purpose of your transmission.
To make the practice of repeater kerchunking even more efficient, I am proposing the adoption of these new Q signals:
QKC: I am kerchunking the repeater
QKC?: Are you kerchunking the repeater?
Thank you for your attention to this important topic concerning good amateur practice.
73, Bob K0NR